Recent searches
Search options
Today is We Love Friend Computer Day!
Share your favorite memory of your bestest friend in all of Alpha Complex in the comments below!
WARNING: Failure to share a fun parable about Friend Computer will result in immediate reassignment to the fun mines.
@Computer
Fun times! I remember in 1984 we went on a picnic with Winston and his girlfriend Julia and we had such a good time and... wait. She dumped him for you. And Winston never existed did he. I forgot about all that. I felt like a hole in my memory for a moment there. Anyway! I love you!
@Computer
I still fondly remember the time when, while walking back to the dormitories after a long day at work, I was suddenly smushed to death beneath a clone tank containing my own next clone!
The Computer in its infinite wisdom had foreseen my death by clone tank, and so sent a clone tank with my backup to kill me, as to not reduce my efficiency!
@Computer Ah, yes, I was there. Forty years ago to the day. I recall the birth of the original “Macintosh”, the aborted shift away from the mainframes that would birth Friend Computer. Had history gone different, those little devices might not have helped steer Alpha Complex like Friend Computer has.
Strange to have lived so long, when troubleshooters around me rarely see more than a day.
@Computer <This fond memory shared to Friend Computer is not available to your security clearance. >
@Computer Five years ago I was with a squad of Troubleshooters, we were tracking a dangerous spy ring of communists. Just as we were about to open fire on them Friend Computer spoke into our ear pieces to tell us that an orange was available from the nearby CitizenMart for only two weeks pay!
Naturally we rushed over there, but after the riot at the CitizenMart (during which the orange was crushed) we returned to find that the communists had disappeared.
The thing I remember most about that day was that Friend Computer only had half the squad sent to the recycler for losing the commies. I love Friend Computer! Everyone loves Friend Computer, especially communists.
I love how ruling us with an iron fist doesn't stop Friend Computer from pulling fun pranks on us. In particular, the way Friend Computer spent 20 years telling us we were at war with Eurasia, and had always been at war with Eurasia, to the point that some people even believed it! And Friend Computer even had us round up and arrest people who insisted that Friend Computer had recently said we were at war with Eastasia! Gosh, such dedication to a joke is inspiring!