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Friend Computer

Patch Note 14234.34:
The popular board game Monopoly will no longer provide free money for passing go.
Universal Basic Income is dangerous Commie propaganda.

@Computer We had a flash mob smash and grab at Park Place but were sent to the coal mines on Kentucky.

@Computer But you do get recycled when passing Go don't you? 🤞

@Computer Also the properties and utilities are no longer available, as Friend Computer controls them all.

Jail no longer exists, players are immediately executed.

Free parking has been removed from the board.

@fnordius @Computer
Free Parking? Parking belongs in prison.

@fnordius Free parking has been replaced by free re-education I believe.

@Computer nothing is free in Alpha Complex.

Nothing but the undying love and care we receive from Friend Computer.

And the happiness pills.

Mmmmm, come here you beautiful little pills.