Lara Paige Turner @GlaiveGuisarme@dice.camp

“Cure is simple,” said the doctor, “go see the great clown Piggly-wacky.”

“But Doctor,” said the man, “I, uh, I think it’s pronounced ‘Pagliacci.’”

“No,” said the doctor, “there’s a G in it. Definitely something like ‘Paggamalackey.’”

I talked my kid into watching Star Wars for the first time--a desperate attempt to get her to watch something besides Encanto--and gosh, I'd forgotten how weird the vibes of Episode IV are. In a good way! It's got a very peculiar pacing.

Wish we didn't have dodgy 90s SFX, tho.

Hey friends. Check out my Pride nails!

My sole regret in life is that I didn’t have anything approaching sky blue so I could do the other hand in trans flag colors, but I do like that my nails match my hair! https://instagr.am/p/CfPNaXPpvOK/

The incomprehensible emotional inversion

When you are having a bad day

In a bad week

At the end of the world

And then something good happens.

Like you were stabbed in the chest

In a massacre

And the knife left behind

Is made of gold.

And the pain feels different now.

Think I’m gonna be logging off Twitter for a while, for the sake of my mental health.

Everybody take care of yourselves.

"What is a woman?"

A miserable pile of wosecrets.

But enough wotalk... have at you!

I sometimes can't deal with an email today, so I mark it as unread so won't disappear into the void and I'll notice it later... but I constantly notice it. It's a siren. A beacon.

JUST realized I can FWD the email to myself, and delay delivery, so it reappears when I'm ready.

Low-key thinking about making “tonsi Lawapela” my Toki Pona name.

Like, as someone who is currently recovering from surgery and has like a half hour of "stand" in her at any one time, I've hacked this into my cooking this week, and it is making things possible. I'd imagine it could also be of use to other folks.

You know what might be cool? A book of recipes all designed with the expectation that you can work on a meal for like 15 minutes at a time, a couple times throughout the day.

Every recipe has separate components being combined at the end, or has built in “rest now” stages.

Went to 5 Guys for lunch for Amber and me.

Lady at the grill calls out to me: “Are you the girl Jesus?”

Me: “What?”

Her: “The girl Jesus? That you?”

Me: “Uh. No?”

Moments later, I realize she’s asking if I’m the person getting two grilled cheeses.

Jesus I should have known better than to say "logo" on Twitter, because now I'm being showered by bots and NOT in the sexy way from my dream journal but in the boring way where I'm going to have to hide and block a bunch of responses.

So I'm trying to design a little business-card game because, like, having business cards is good and having a little game on them is fun, but AMBER keeps telling me that I need to make room to put my name, logo, and contact information on it.

Everybody boo her.

"Wooden Sword Thespians" is a setting for Thirsty Sword Lesbians, at the Ridgewood Park High School Drama Club, 1997. Fight the administration, endure rival cliques making trouble, make out backstage, and put on the best damn play you can.

https://glaiveguisarme.itch.io/wooden-sword-thespians

#GG_Promo

WILD that we are two years into the pandemic and there are people using Zoom who only appear from the eyes up.

I'm at one week post-surgery and I'm celebrating by letting my primary care physician know that I had surgery.

I follow a bunch of trans YouTubers, and I feel like I understand how them sharing the transphobic comments they get can help them feel empowered. They’re not letting the assholes skulk in shadow, they’re naming & shaming & refuting.

But also I need to stop following them.

If you think that trans rights don’t affect you
Because you are not trans
I beg you to realize and understand and internalize the truth that fascists don’t bother to hide

Trans people are just an on-ramp.

Okay but what IF I ran a Thirsty Sword Lesbians game set in a post-Courier New Vegas?

Cuted up to go off and play the Dragon Game. This is my first meaningful “out of the house” post surgery!

(I will be on a couch the whole time, and brought extra pills.) https://instagr.am/p/Ce9FvbPphia/