Hey folks -- who do you think does Codes of Conduct really well? Can you share links? I've got a bunch collected but I am sure I'm missing some!

Relatedly -- do you have favorite examples of social expectations which _aren't_ codes of conduct (e.g. things that are more aspirational about how we should BE together but aren't codes of conduct because you shouldn't enforce aspirations in the same way you'd respond to harmful behaviors)?

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@platypus
One thing i like about the one on dmg.to is the list of "expected behavior" in addition to it setting clear boundaries

@Portablecity we’ll have something like that but some have pointed out that this can become a problem because if they’re not modeling a positive behavior because someone just said something racist, it becomes a repeat of a scenario where the wronged person is judged as much for their emotional reaction as the other person for their emotion. Theirs are good stuff and a bit less of the kind which could be abused, but it’s a thing I hadn’t considered before starting reading about enforcement.

@platypus
I see what you're saying! I do think DMG's avoids much of the risk of being tone policing, but I acknowledge it's still there in some capacity! However, IME even COCs that explicitly only list unwelcome behavior can be wielded against someone vulnerable if their harasser's behavior isn't witnessed but their response is.

@Portablecity definitely. and that's one reason we're reading the enforcement book. no matter how many good words we write, a lot comes down to what we do with it. I'm hopeful because our group is going to be small and almost entirely invited. On the flip side, we'll be specifically there to talk about some really tough stuff. So we're reading White Fragility, Emergent Strategy, etc. and steeling ourselves.

@platypus it certainly sounds like you're doing your due diligence πŸ’œ best of luck!

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