Having an “Omfg! duh!” moment but,
wow the nervous system is a part of the body huh?
Like, it’s not just the wiring that connects stuff, it’s this organic, changing, messy thing that can take damage and get healed and can be exercised and overworked and be calm or hurt… why was this so difficult to notice before?
I dunno just finally comprehending this makes things like my tics and stims make soooooo much more sense. Rest for nerves might look like repetitive signals and/or the comforting sensations that result. If part is raw and over sensitive maybe it will latch onto random thoughts like “oh fuck what next what next… a random word? Fine fuck okay let’s yell it.”
Also realising that “grow thicker skin”, “tough it out”, “just do it even if you don’t like it”
Are basically just saying “take a whole lot of cumulative damage to your nervous system and don’t fucking complain about it.”
No wonder I got by on dissociation until I had a breakdown, developed tics, and finally figured out I’m autistic. Just existing IS exhausting, when the world expects more than your body can give.
This really is all super obvious but I think that the whole “what the world expects” part makes it hidden, harder to realise.
You’re “supposed” to be able to do stuff, and expected to do it. So you try your best to do it and you have to ignore how it hurts… and it hurts all the time so you put so much of yourself into tuning that out that you don’t notice - you’re NOT supposed to hurt.
@Sophie@dice.campWhy is anyone ever made to feel like not meeting some external standard is a failing?
We’re not failing, society is failing us!
I’m made of flesh and it’s a huge fucking mess, of course I can’t perform the same as your idealised version of some other arbitrary mess of flesh. You only idealised THAT mess because it was useful to you! Let me chill and watch the trees, I’m not going to make a phone call today!
@Sophie Absolutely! I think it's made even more complicated by the fact that pushing yourself *can* be a good thing. You *need* to go out of your comfort zone to grow. But what *pushing* exactly means for the individual, when you need rest and when it's going too far is something only the individual can know for themselves. And even that has to be learned and changes over time... but our society seems to be obsessed with always pushing yourself as far as possible at the moment.