Recent searches

No recent searches

Search options

Not available on dice.camp.
dice.camp is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
A Mastodon server for RPG folks to hang out and talk. Not owned by a billionaire.

Administered by:

Server stats:

1.6K
active users

dice.camp: AboutProfiles directoryPrivacy policy

Mastodon: AboutGet the appKeyboard shortcutsView source codev4.4.3

#halfmanhalfbiscuit

0 posts0 participants0 posts today
Ed Bridges<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@fesshole" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>fesshole</span></a></span> As is so often the case, <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a> have already satirised this. <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/HMHB" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HMHB</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/m4z3S0fCOew?feature=shared" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">youtu.be/m4z3S0fCOew?feature=s</span><span class="invisible">hared</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Upon Westminster Bridge”<br>If Jesus came to Earth today<br>They’d crucify him straight away<br>Upon a cross of MDF<br>And they’d use No Need For Nails</p><p>Ship-shape farmhouse<br>Dry stone wall chart<br>Cash-back foot spa<br>Straight down Ladbrokes<br>Low cost school trip<br>Ramraid Oxfam<br>“Christ that sun’s hot”<br>Yes that’s right sir</p><p>Oh help me Mrs Medlicott<br>I don’t know what to do<br>I’ve only got three bullets<br>And there’s four of Motley Crue<br><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
quangobaud<p>Trumpton Riots </p><p>🎶making plans to assassinate our autocratic mayor tonight🎶 </p><p><a href="https://kolektiva.social/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/_ZxkErDC16A" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">youtu.be/_ZxkErDC16A</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
quangobaud<p>Time Flies By When You're The Driver of a Train </p><p><a href="https://kolektiva.social/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a> <a href="https://kolektiva.social/tags/Trumpton" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Trumpton</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/FyHKL7uR6yA" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="">youtu.be/FyHKL7uR6yA</span><span class="invisible"></span></a></p>
Sue W<p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> on sunny <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/ulverston" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>ulverston</span></a>.<br>And a nice little camp in Ings<br><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/lakedistrict" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>lakedistrict</span></a> </p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/halfmanhalfbiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>halfmanhalfbiscuit</span></a></p>
andylancelot<p>Well, <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a> were even better live! At <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/NeuaddOgwen" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>NeuaddOgwen</span></a> <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/Bethesda" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Bethesda</span></a> last night. Amazing - also, we’re sure the support act featured the bloke from Cob <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/Records" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Records</span></a> playing guitar with a violin bow. 🎻 Excellent!!!</p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“The Ballad of Climie Fisher”<br>Now here comes a story that’s never been told<br>About the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher<br>They had their success and they went separate ways<br>Fisher went to work as a researcher for the BBC Education Department; rented a flat in Norbury, South London.<br>Climie moved into the gravel business, with his brother.<br>Theirs was the place to go for White Dolomite and Canterbury Spur.<br>It was a small but profitable operation, specialised in large driveways.<br>Top of the range was called a “Hadleigh”; so named after the TV series.<br>Now keep this in mind<br>Fisher hates gravel<br>And Fisher hates shale<br>It goes right through him<br><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Jo Broom<p>Today's random <a href="https://mas.to/tags/Discogs" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Discogs</span></a> choice Half Man Half Biscuit and The Peel Sessions 1988. The most British of bands, the wit, the lyrics, just everything. They are quite brilliant. Favourite track, of course it's The Trumpton Riots.<br><a href="https://mas.to/tags/nowplaying" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>nowplaying</span></a> <a href="https://mas.to/tags/music" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>music</span></a> <a href="https://mas.to/tags/halfmanhalfbiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>halfmanhalfbiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo”</p><p>If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation<br>Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations<br>There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation<br>As revealed to St John the Divine<br>See also Mary Hopkin<br>She must despair</p><p>You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo<br>You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HMHB" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HMHB</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Trumpton Riots”<br>Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town<br>And it’s spreading like pneumonia<br>Doesn’t look like going down<br>There’s trouble at the fire station someone’s had the sack<br>And the lads are going to launch a scheme get rid of Captain Flack<br>Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate<br>And arm themselves with CS gas<br>They’re gonna be out late<br>We’ve had Cant conformism since 1966<br>And now subversion’s in the air in the shape of flying bricks<br>…<br>All this aristocracy has really got to stop<br>We can overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp<br>And Chippy Minton’s Socialists could storm the Market Square<br>And make plans to assassinate our autocratic Mayor<br>Windy Militant leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war<br>With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door<br>But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew<br>Whereupon they bring about a military coup<br>…<br>Oh, someone get a message through to Captain Snort….</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HMHB" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HMHB</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“It’s Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas”</p><p>See how we yawn<br>At your bile and your scorn<br>It’s a beautiful day<br>Peace on Earth has been played<br>Make a noise with your toys<br>And ignore the killjoys<br>‘Cos it’s cliched<br>To be cynical<br>At Christmas</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Children of Apocalyptic Techstep”</p><p>A growing trend for people nowadays to say<br>Don’t let my funeral be morose in any way<br>And I, I, I, I, I will always hate them<br>I ask you now please<br>Rock of Ages Cleft For Me<br>….<br>Too many psychopaths<br>Not enough cycle paths<br>Too many psychopaths<br>Not enough cycle paths</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Ed Bridges<p><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodon.social/@fesshole" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>fesshole</span></a></span> As always, there's an apt <a href="https://toot.wales/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a> quote:</p><p>A growing trend for people nowadays to say<br>Don’t let my funeral be morose in any way<br>But I will always hate death<br>I ask you now please<br>Rock of Ages cleft for me</p><p><a href="https://toot.wales/tags/HMHB" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HMHB</span></a><br><span class="h-card" translate="no"><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/@hmhbLyrics" class="u-url mention" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">@<span>hmhbLyrics</span></a></span></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Lark Descending”</p><p>My hands are stained with thistle milk<br>And I can see what a fool I’ve been<br>My hands are stained with thistle milk<br>Look at the state it’s got me in<br>Trying to be Mansfield’s very own<br>Trying to be Mansfield’s very own<br>Steve Malkmus</p><p>I could have been like Lou Barlow<br>But I’m more like Ken Barlow</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p><p>(I’m actually at a Folk Implosion gig)</p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Shit arm, bad tattoo”</p><p>If you’re going to quote from the Book of Revelation<br>Don’t keep calling it the Book of Revelations<br>There’s no “s”, it’s the Book of Revelation<br>As revealed to St John the Divine</p><p>See also Mary Hopkin<br>She must despair</p><p>You’ve got a shit arm, and that’s a bad tattoo</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HMHB" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HMHB</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd”</p><p>If you ever wondered how<br>You get triangles from a cow<br>You need butter, milk and cheese<br>And an equilateral chainsaw</p><p>Mary had a little lamb<br>The doctors were astounded<br>Everywhere she went<br>Gynaecologists surrounded</p><p>And if eight out of ten cats all prefer Whiskas<br>Do the other two prefer Lesley Judd?</p><p>99% of gargoyles look like Bob Todd</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train)”</p><p>She stayed with me until she moved to Notting Hill<br>She said it was the place she needs to be<br>Where the cocaine is fair trade, and frequently displayed<br>Is the Buena Vista Social Club CD</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“National Shite Day”</p><p>Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention<br>I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette<br>I.e. sidle out of the store gingerly<br>Embrace the margin<br>Fat kids with sausage rolls<br>Poor sods conducting polls<br>There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets<br>….<br>Shite Day<br>I guess this must be National Shite Day<br>This surely must be National Shite Day<br>Don't tell me, it's National Shite Day</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HMHB" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HMHB</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“The Light at the End of the Tunnel (is the Light of an Oncoming Train)”</p><p>She stayed with me until she moved to Notting Hill<br>She said it was the place she needs to be<br>Where the cocaine is fair trade, and frequently displayed<br>Is the Buena Vista Social Club CD</p><p><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics<p>“Footprints”</p><p>“My precious precious child, I love you, and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, that must have been when I was appearing on…<br>Junior Kick Start…<br>Junior Kick Start…”</p><p>The teenager awoke at mid day.<br>He walked into the back garden…….<br>He walked up to the patio chair where his father sat.<br>“Father?”<br>“Yes son?”<br>“I want to borrow your golf clubs.”<br><a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/hmhb" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>hmhb</span></a> <a href="https://mastodonapp.uk/tags/HalfManHalfBiscuit" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>HalfManHalfBiscuit</span></a></p>
TrendingLive feeds
About