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#JustFinished (not really, but that's my hashtag) Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. This was one of the few books I have ever marked up.
When I started the book, I thought I was basically nice to myself. You know, supportive, kind, understanding... Ohhelllno. I was so much nicer and more understanding to other people than I was to myself. It's still hard, in some ways, given my upbringing, to be compassionate at all. But I learned so much from the book.
1/3
I read it carefully and slowly, digesting the chapters along the way. I think I read about 1 chapter every week or two. It was so helpful to me to be able to sit with the information and think about how I really felt about it and how to integrate the advice into my life.
There was one chapter I had a problem with... what was it? I think where she spent the chapter slamming another tool. Self-esteem? She basically said it was the root of all evil in the US, creating narcissists.
2/3
While I agree that it's not the tool we thought it was, I felt she took it too far.
Her research into compassion was very helpful to me, and I highly recommend this book.
You want an example? Before I read the book, my self thoughts were similar to "I'm fat and ugly." I couldn't see beyond my weight. The other day, I actually thought to myself, "I know I'm still pretty. I also know most people don't find people my size attractive. And I'm OK with that."
Her website. https://self-compassion.org/