Mitch Hedberg lied to me.
Mitch Hedberg lied to me.
@nonfedimemes "I believe that Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls." #MitchHedberg
#MitchHedberg: The #Comedian Who Found Magic in the Mundane.
The Pringles company originally set out to make tennis balls, but instead of rubber a shipment of potatoes showed up instead. Pringles was a laid-back company, though, and they said "we can work with that."
"Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a ... bun"
“An escalator can never be broken. It can only become stairs.”
—Mitch Hedberg
"If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit!"
#MitchHedberg
Testing #MitchHedberg’s frightening hypothesis: “Maybe Bigfoot is blurry and it’s not the photographer’s fault”
@ruralgloom
If you have a streaming service you can say something like “play songs by Mitch Hedberg”. There may be a few of his gems you haven’t heard. Even though delivery was a key part of his jokes, they are still funny to hear.
#mitchHedberg
@ReticentTurnip reminds me of the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute by #MitchHedberg
@georgetakei the Dufresnes! Search party of 4. #MitchHedberg
When the Chaos Communication Congress moved to the Congress Center Hamburg in 2012, at the first Congress at the CCH (#29C3) one of the escalators stopped several times a day (at least at days 1 and 2) because people pressed the emergency shutdown button. (I guess many visitors were curious and couldn't resist the red button.) So the escalator stood still a lot until somebody with a key came by again. One time this sign was added. I just came across the picture and saw it for the first time since I've heard #MitchHedbergs standup comedy. With this added reference in my mind, I felt like re-sharing the picture.
@Alice I used to love #MitchHedberg ! I still do, but I used to, too!
An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You should never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs." -- #MitchHedberg
My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke is once again also appropriate advice:
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
#joke #StockingStuffer #GiftIdea #funny #MitchHedberg #horror @horror #MotherSuspiriasMorningMeme
“If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit”
#MitchHedberg is always a win.
"I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records… nothing was alphabetized!" — Mitch Hedberg — — — #MitchHedberg #quote #quotes #quip #humor #humorous #funny #recordstore #hardtofind #find #record #oldies
@NickGates Anything #MitchHedberg or his parents approve, i’m totally in favor of. including #choking purple people.