@PastramiParker
Also, taking a quick glance at your profile, Dr Blippy prescribes:
¹ Find an image you connect with, and put on an avatar. Naked people with fresh accounts are often taken for (spam-/scam-)mers
² Nothing will appear on your feed that you didn't ask for. Follow far, and follow wide. Hashtags, too. It's not a tattoo, you can always unfollow.
³ Don't forget about AltText on images. There are many visually impaired folks here.
⁴ Welcome! Have fun!
американський президент, иди нахуй!
Feel free to use this hashtag, #AmericanPresidentGoFuckYourself, if you like. 
It would make me happy beyond belief were you to do so.
No one "owns" a hashtag. Post your own #Audrey stuff, I don't care.
While I may have "made it up," I didn't make it up, per se: I paraphrased it from the Snake Island incident: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."
Anyway, yeah. Use it. Abuse it. Spread it far and wide.
Or not. You do you. Always.
SHITPOSTING AGAIN
The urge, when it comes, it comes on quick
Only so much time before I have to shit
If I try some awkward dance
Try to keep it in my pants
My shorts might end up filled with it
I made it this time, never fear
Dropped my load and wiped my rear
Now I tell you all about it
Adventures in my world of shit
Ooo! The Banksy post is *chef's kiss *, and I want to boost it, so bad...
...no AltText.
Poopysocks.
No huhu. I'll grab it for myself, and post it at a later time point, with AltText, and we'll all laugh and laugh.
I threw it a like.
Y'alls lack of AltText is my gold mine. Practically ALL my memes are "stolen," uncredited, from AltText-less posts.
*shrugs*
Don't like it? Easy peasy. Add AltText to your post. I'd boost it rather than "stealing" it.
@nshr @stux
Being a buttinsky...
Every person here has had an account with no avatar, and a 0/0/0 count. You, me, EVERYone. It's how we're born into #HephalumpWorld.
I try to remember this when "low number" accounts approach me.
I look at 'em as "seeds". Maybe they'll sprout, maybe they won't. If they turn out to be a weed, I know where the pruning shears are.
However, you do you.
I'm just sayin' don't let your biases and prejudices blind you.
If I find out it's your birthday, I'ma send cake. No ifs, ands, or buts.
It's what one does.
My timeline suddenly "floods" with boosted cat posts, all in response to a post by @[REDACTED], which I cannot see.
This leads me to suspect that @[REDACTED] has me blocked/muted.
I'm sure there are many more who have me blocked/muted that I'm not aware of. 
I'm not for everyone.
Just like I have a slough of folks blocked/muted.
No huhu! Control over one's own timeline is the 2nd greatest thing about this place! (The greatest thing being y'all! )
SHITPOSTING AGAIN
The urge, when it comes, it comes on quick
Only so much time before I have to shit
If I try some awkward dance
Try to keep it in my pants
My shorts might end up filled with it
I made it this time, never fear
Dropped my load and wiped my rear
Now I tell you all about it
Adventures in my world of shit
I still wanna boost every "Margaret Thatcher is still dead" post that crosses my timeline...
But...
*points to the lack of AltText*
But...
I'm not your dad. I ain't gonna tell YOU how to post. You do you. Always.
All I can do is not boost it... even though I want to.
Question about #HephalumpWorld machinations and counters...
In my Laptop/WebApp notifications, I see 3 people have boosted the most recent #Audrey post.
In my Handy/Tusky notifications, and on the post itself, I only see 1 boost.
When I look at the timelines of the (alleged) boosters, I don’t see the post.
But, nothing is linear here.
Is this some kind of handshake snafu, or did they simply change their mind and unboost?
Even though the 
boi/USAID/Starlink/Ukraine meme is solid gold, and I wanna boost it every time it crosses my timeline, I won't.
Y'all know why.
Threw it a like, tho, cuz it *IS* good stuff, Maynard!
Besides, it's going like gangbusters (already in triple digits), so "everyone" is gonna see it anyway, and I don't have to be the asshole bitching about AltText.
I should clarify that the above is well done artwork I stole from some AltText-less post, but is not a real, actual LEGO product.
It's how I get all my memes. Lack of AltText is my gold mine.
I just wish there weren't so many. (AltText-less posts)
Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally
my mom fucked a bat
dm “thanks for the follow” and i’ll unfollow, only sayin this once
no rude posts
"I used to be just like you before I started going to therapy"
Still in that awkward pre-ghost phase
Writer/Editor at The Beaverton
Vancouver, Canada
I'm mostly on Bluesky
Your Occasional Adequacy
Very much just saying things, really.
All my posts …. oh, OK then (but we’re discussing this terminology at some point), ‘toots’: https://justmytoots.com/@gogs@mas.to
A small intro: I’m someone of no importance.
I’m not frightened of dying. What scares me is NOT dying.
Survived cancer and various other things/people that have tried to kill me.
If it ain’t Pompey, politics or nonsense I ain’t interested 
Dum vivimus, vivamus
Writer, comedian, illustrator, and international woman of mystery. Sworn enemy of the Swedish Yule Goat.
@the_anastasia
That girl...you know the one...
linktr.ee/the_anastasia
Mostly one-liners at my own expense
Awkward AF
Midwest to West Coast
Photos on Pixelfed: @Alice
Please direct any and all complaints to the anthropomorphic hotdog that manages this account.
researcher writer walker of forests swimmer of oceans here for the funny and the interesting
#space #humor #humour #literature #reading #art #dance #science #oceans #whales #ChildrensRights #adventure #travel #surfing #novels #poetry
BRAIN GLITTER ZOMBIESEROTONYMPHYour Source for StupiToots© #NewYork 
#Syracuse Alt Txt avatar is a gif of a smiling Caucasian woman with light long hair, in a Halloween theme orange and black frame, graveyard, and black cat. Alt Text Header: I "heart" New York sign at Geneva New York Oct 2023 #nosearch #noindex
Sober Ally--Not into recreational drugs or alcohol
**Pink Sparkle**
I AM LRRR, FUTURE CONQUEROR OF YOUR PLANET. STRANDED IN AMERICA SINCE 2023. OMICRON MALE. KEYNOTE SPEAKER. PUBLIC INTELLECTUAL. HE/HIM. TRAHR. BLM. HEEL. BELOVED MICRO-CELEBRITY. CONNECTIONS TO FUTURAMA CANON ARE TENUOUS AT BEST. I DO ALL-CAPS AND CARTOON VIOLENCE AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE ME. I AM UNHINGED.
NOT AN OFFICIAL ACCOUNT FOR ANYTHING. DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
TOOTS POSTED BY MY HUMAN GHOSTWRITER AGAINST HIS WILL.
I'M LIKE IF CALVIN'S DAD HAD A BLOODTHIRSTY IMAGINARY ALIEN MONSTER HOBBES.
Normalize calling Sam Altman ai-nāṣir.
Member of the Great Migration of Nov 2022
Retired mainframe storage manager, channel Marvin the Paranoid android, like cats, tech, open world games,nature.
Very amateur scientist /astronomer / climatologist.
Wide musical tastes, scouse sense of humour.
Absolutely no time for “alternative” facts.
Nullifidian
https://justmytoots.com/@MaJ1@beige.party
Avatar: A red squirrel wearing elven style armour with a winged helmet & a sword.
Banner: Small computer room showing IBM ES/9000 mainframe
Hi! I'm healyn. You may remember me from such instances as mastodon.social
He/Him
Blippy, a suspiciously majestic Sea Slug of some sort, was found in a Nuclear/Biological waste disposal facility near Oldenburg, Germany sometime in 1959.
Potty mouth. 
Deutscher, aber sprecht kaum Deutsch.
--
#Bassist #EveryDayIsCaturday #Audrey #PoultryCoroner #RandomShoes #BongSignal #GangsOfNovember #TheArtOfShitposting
Cats: #YoshiOneEye #EmmaPeel #PussyGalore #HarleyQuinn
#NotOurCat: #Humba #Zardoz #Franz
Somethng s mssng from your lfe
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/tobyartste1
Hi, I'm Ben.
I'm a heady mix of a serious responsible grown up man and a stupid man-baby idiot with delusions of grandeur.
I'm a big nerd, really into music, cooking, books, films and scifi. I hate/love running and generally love being outdoors.
He/Him
Want to buy me a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/thebreadmonkey
Psst ...wanna see some toots?... https://justmytoots.com/@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party
Solutions architect (before that, in project management). Maker of dad jokes. Actual dad.
Recently migrated from mastodon.social. Still figuring out who I'm going to be on Beige.
Bad jokes, worse opinions. Tonally all over the place. Irish (North), living in England. Leftist provincial dad. He/him.
The Toots, the whole Toots and nothing but the Toots: https://justmytoots.com/@Nickiquote@mstdn.social
Avi: himself, default white bloke in glasses, b&w. Header: drawing of Aretha Franklin’s eyes staring out over sunglasses.
I really don't understand why people would screenshot a #HephalumpWorld post, and post the screenshot, instead of simply boosting the post.
( I still refuse to use much of the accepted nomenclature here in #HephalumpWorld, and will never refer to posts as fart synonyms.)
@JackTheCat
Counterpoint:
Everyone here has had an account with no avatar, no profile, 0 posts, 0 followed, 0 followers. You, me, EVERYone... it's how we're birthed into #HephalumpWorld.
I'm always tickled when someone new here seeks me out. Sucker!
If they turn out to be assholes (rare), I know where the mute and/or block buttons are.
But, you do you. Always.
Control over my own timeline is the second best thing about this place! (The best thing being y'all. )
@akamran
Counterpoint:
Everyone here has, at one point, had an account witb no avatar, no bio, and a 0/0/0 count. You, me, everyone.
Everyone here was a n00b once.
Remember this when "low count" accounts come knocking at your door.
I look at 'em as seeds in the fertile medium that is the Fart Patrol. Maybe they'll sprout into something. Maybe they won't.
Blä. At some point this morning, I will once more have to put on my boots, brave the shit, and go to the bank. I can't catch a break. At least I know there won't be much walking involved.
In other news, I'm officially designating -4° as the #ShitPoint. Because it looks like cartoon of someone shitting, on any temperature scale. It's currently shit outside. I'll wait until it warms past shit.
Damn straight I'll un-/re- boost good stuff, like that Wednesday Tetris meme, to put in in front of fresh eyes if it passes my way again the next day. It was en pointe then, it's en pointe now.
This doesn't change the total number of boosts on the post.
Even though we're all about "free speech," and expressing ourselves, I'm well aware that there are some things that one simply CANNOT say without becoming pariah. ( or subject to arrest)
@RubyJones I asked a real flesh and blood buddy who LIKES doing that kind of stuff to do the cover of my upcoming book.
You can read [most of] it in it's entirety/progression at:
#TheArtOfShitposting
