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#boundaries

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How to make friends with ponies in 3 easy steps:

  1. Put out the hay in multiple piles so the ponies have choices.

  2. Sit next to a hay pile like you’re having a picnic.

  3. When the ponies come up to share your picnic spot, resist the monkey-instinct to pat them. Sharing a hay pile may not seem like you’re doing much, but you came here for 3 easy steps, didn’t you?

Actually, the ponies find it pretty meaningful to peacefully share a good snack spot. That doesn’t stop Abner from rudely sticking his face in Abigail’s face just to see if she still likes him enough to tolerate his more annoying behaviors sometimes. Just like sometimes, I don’t manage to resist the urge to pat. And I see in their expressions that they would often prefer if I sat there quietly and kept my hands to myself.

These might look #lazy, but are actually reasonable strategies:

- resist pointless #tasks to create time for deep thinking,
- set #boundaries at work to avoid #burnout,
- say “no” to tasks, resisting that we should always strive to #produce more,
- automate #repetitive tasks to free up time for #creative tasks.

theconversation.com/why-being-

The ConversationWhy being ‘lazy’ at work might actually be a good thing
More from The Conversation UK

What to do if bullying? Try consistent boundaries

1. do not writhe or waver. (Movement attracts the bully)
2. do not attempt to appease. (Any offer is interpreted as weakness and obtains thrust)
3. flee to a safe position that you could hold with support
4. then stand still. Set limits on how others treat you. Affirm boundaries (The bully will redirect attacks eventually)
5. connect: turn to a trusted person, reach out only to someone you feel well about
6. offer backing, foster, become accomplice, enjoy

Some of you probably know I'm in the process of poking at how I, er, relate to relationships (using that term broadly here).

As part of that work, I'm coming up with a list of relationship boundaries. These are the sorts of things I would expect anyone more than an acquaintance to respect if they want to interact with me. Some of these things are common sense: respecting my autonomy, no tolerance for abuse, that sort of thing. Others are tied to my identities: being a few different types of queer means I don't approach relationships like most people. Yet others are practical: I'm married, so my wife gets a say in a lot of legal/financial decisions pertaining to me. These are just a few examples, not a complete list of what I've come up with so far.

I'm curious: What are some things you would put on your list of boundaries for relationships?

If I could help non disabled people understand one thing about being disabled, it would be how important maintaining a baseline is.

When you’re chronically ill, your baseline is everything.

Even minor setbacks can be catastrophic, so we have to do a risk analysis before literally ANY activity

If you’re asking a disabled person to use valuable spoons… be prepared to hear “No”.

It’s not because they’re rude or they don’t like you or they’re “not trying enough”.

It’s because they know their body and they’ve assessed the risk of a setback to be too high.

When this happens, please respect their choice.

Imagine how hard it would be for you to constantly have to say “No” to people.

To pass up fun activities because you know you need to prioritize a medical appointment or things like cooking and cleaning.

That’s our reality. We’re working with such a small amount of resources that we have nothing extra to spare.

Boundary setting is incredibly hard, don’t make it harder for us by gaslighting and guilting us.

It’s impossible to understand until you go through it, so please take us at our word.

We’re the ones who suffer the setback. The ones who lose hard earned gains when we push too hard.

Support us, believe us, and let us say “No”

Greetings, loyal readers! County Fence Magazine is Eastern Ontario's oldest and most prestigious boundary and fencing publication. I, Jules Octavian, began this magazine out of a fascination with the boundaries of Eastern Ontario. Following my global circumnavigation aboard my beloved Atlanta there were few opportunities for a man of letters locally, so I endeavoured to make my own and County Fence was born. Thanks to some young friends of mine we're finally able to bring County Fence to a global audience via the World Wide Web.

We'll be posting a story for free accompanied by an audio version at 10:00 PM on the first and third Thursdays of the month for the next year and a half. Follow here or go to the website for other ways to subscribe.

www.countyfencemagazine.com

#CanCon #CanLit #Canada #Ontario #Eastern Ontario #Literature #Bookstodon #Readers #Writer #Writer #indiepub #indiebook #indieauthor #fences #boundaries #Coffee #Biography #introduction

The Art of Saying No: Why Setting Boundaries is Essential for Your Well-Being: Learn how mastering the power of ‘no’ can transform your relationships and mental health

Continue reading on Medium » afifarrain655.medium.com/the-a #MentalHealth #SelfCare #Boundaries #WellBeing #PersonalGrowth

No one is going to protect your baseline the way you will.

No one else has to live with the consequences of a setback. No one knows how it feels to be inside your body, coping with constant pain and fatigue.

So no one has the right to tell you what you can and can’t do.

The holidays can be a difficult time for folks dealing with chronic illness - because we’re often expected to put on a smile & push our bodies for the comfort of others.

Never forget that you get to set your own boundaries.

Tips for holiday season 👇🏼

disabledginger.com/p/a-chronic

The Disabled Ginger · A Chronic Illness ChristmasBy Broadwaybabyto

EVERY SINGLE DAY in parenting groups, I see posts that say "[family member] knowingly exposed us to an illness! What do I do?"

We literally learned AN ENTIRE SET OF SKILLS FOR HOW TO HANDLE THIS DURING A MULTI-YEAR PANDEMIC THAT NEVER ENDED.

But now that everyone is "back to normal," I guess they have amnesia about masks, pods, and explicit conversations about illness and exposures?