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October 22-28, 2023 is Ace Week aka Asexuality Awareness Week. Each day, I will be sharing some of my journey through the books, songs, and characters that helped me figure myself out.

For today, I recommend “Elatsoe” by Darcie Little Badger. My promoted it on a book list for aro/ace representation and on one for @indigenousauthors. I loved how this mixed folklore from many cultures into a modern setting. I would happily read a whole detective series with the character and world! And everyone in the book was accepting of Elatsoe’s aro/aceness, which was the first time I’d read anything like that.

For today: “Loveless” by Alice Oseman. I learned of it from a Rowan Ellis video. This is another novel, and unlike “Elatsoe” it is centered very much on the aro/aceness of the protagonist. Though the British university experience is far removed from my life, I saw a lot of my teenage self in this. And not just in Georgia, but also Sunil and Jason. Understanding that there’s a distinction between and was important for my personal journey.

I played an Umojan ghost named Imogen in a my spouse ran with . I spent a lot of time with it afterwards, prepping the and . Meanwhile, I was also soaking up content to be a better ally—and because resonated with me. Looking back at Imogen’s drives and interactions, I saw she fit it, too. Nervous inside, I mentioned to my spouse one day that I thought Imogen was . It wasn’t a big deal—which gave me courage.

I ran a using . Midway through, the players met Ash. This NPC was the first time I ever created a character intended to be ace. Although I didn’t announce Ash’s sexuality at the game table, I showed it in interactions the PCs saw between him and his partner. I drew from my own preferences on interacting with my spouse, though I was not yet fully sure fit me. It was a valuable exercise for me demonstrating that and are not the same.

We finished our 3-year a few months ago. By then, I was out as and my spouse as , which meant more open conversations about sexuality between us. Looking back at the whole campaign now, we saw that my wife’s PC, the outgoing half-elf/half-human ranger/bard Tric Manu is and . I must admit, I have never understood the trope of horny . If you’re interested in one who definitely is not, check out our .

My wife is currently running an using . I’m playing a salesman turned environmental “mage” named Mariah Esteban Thorne. Comfortable now with my own , I’m playing an PC. We actually had a bit of a romantic scene during one of our recent sessions, and it was so nice to have the GM understand my PC’s perspective on it. So much better than some “roll to seduce” situations I’ve encountered at some other tables. Hooray for open communication!

jendefer

My marriage has thrived since I came out as . My spouse has done (and not done 😉 ) many things to show acceptance of me. One of those things was passing along a song by the Skull Puppies from their album Critical Failures. The only way this song could have been better was if it had just been titled the more generic “ and .”

skullpuppies.bandcamp.com/trac

This is the last of my posts. See you next !